Teaching Safety Words: 'Stop', 'Wait' and 'Come Here'

Few moments are as frightening as watching your child run toward a road, a parking lot or a pool and not stop when you call. Many autistic children do not yet respond to "stop" or "come here," especially when they are excited, overwhelmed or focused on something they want. That is not defiance. It is a skill that has not been taught yet, and it can be taught.

This guide shows how to teach three safety responses (stop, wait and come here) using ABA steps you can practice at home, and how to make them work in the places that matter most in Florida: driveways, parking lots, pools and canals.

Why are safety words so important in Florida?

The Florida Department of Health says drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death for Florida children ages 1 to 4, and that Florida ranks fifth in the nation for drowning deaths. The CDC lists autism among conditions that can raise drowning risk. Wandering, or elopement, is a known safety concern for autistic children; a 2012 study in Pediatrics (Anderson and colleagues) looked at how often it happens and how it affects families.

Florida homes are often close to water: pools, lakes, canals and retention ponds. A child who will stop on cue has an extra layer of protection. But no word is a lock. Safety words work alongside fences, door alarms, locks and adult supervision, never in place of them. The guide on wandering and elopement covers the full home safety plan.

Which words should I teach, and how?

Pick one word for each action and use it the same way every time. Everyone who cares for your child should use the same words.

• "Stop": freeze in place right now.
• "Wait": stay where you are until I say OK.
• "Come here": come to me and touch my hand.

Pair each word with a gesture or sign (for example, a flat hand held up for "stop") so your child can respond even when it is noisy, and so the cue works for a child who understands gestures better than words. Use a firm, calm voice. Save the safety words for safety: do not use "stop" for dozens of everyday things, or it will lose its power.

How do I teach "come here"?

Start with "come here," because it is the easiest to make fun.

1. Find a strong reward. Something your child really wants: a favorite snack, a bubble, a tickle, a few seconds of a video. Save it for practice only.
2. Start very close. Sit one or two steps from your child. Say "come here" once, hold out your hand, and show the reward.
3. Help if needed. If your child does not come, a second adult can gently guide them to you. Do not repeat the word over and over.
4. Reward right away. The moment your child reaches you, give the reward and lots of praise.
5. Practice in short rounds. Five to ten tries, a few times a day. Stop while it is still fun.
6. Fade the help. As your child succeeds, help less, until your child comes on the word alone.

Prompting (giving help, then fading it) and reinforcement are both among the 28 practices the National Clearinghouse on Autism Evidence and Practice found to have clear evidence of positive effects for autistic children and youth.

How do I teach "stop" and "wait"?

Stop

1. Practice as a game. Walk or run slowly together, holding hands, in a safe space like a hallway or fenced yard.
2. Say "stop" with your hand sign, and stop together. Reward right away.
3. Once your child stops with you every time, let go of their hand and walk side by side. Say "stop" and reward if they freeze.
4. Slowly add a little distance between you.
5. Play freeze games: dance to music and freeze when you say "stop." Children often learn this fastest when it is a game.

Wait

1. Have your child stand on a spot, like a mat or a piece of tape on the floor.
2. Say "wait" and step back one step. After one or two seconds, say "OK" and reward.
3. Slowly make the wait longer and your distance greater.
4. Practice "wait" at the front door before going out, and at the car door before getting out. These are the moments it matters most.

Short, frequent practice works better than long sessions. Children who learn "wait" at home are better prepared for waiting in lines and transitions too.

How do I make safety words work in real places?

A child who stops perfectly in the living room may not stop at a busy park. Behavior analysts call the next step generalization: practicing a skill with different people, in different places and with more distractions. Build up slowly:

1. Different people. Have each caregiver practice the same words.
2. Different rooms, then the fenced yard.
3. More distractions: with toys, music or siblings around.
4. Quiet public places: an empty parking lot with a second adult, a quiet park path.
5. Harder places: busier parking lots and sidewalks, always holding hands at first.

Near water, practice only in safe ways. For example, practice "stop" at the pool gate with the gate closed and an adult holding your child's hand, not with an open pool. The CDC advises a responsible adult watching children closely and constantly whenever they are in or near water.

What mistakes should I avoid?

• Repeating the word. "Stop, stop, stop, STOP" teaches your child to wait for the fourth one. Say it once, then help.
• Testing in dangerous places. Never practice by letting your child run toward a street or water.
• Chasing. Many children think chasing is a game. If your child runs, try not to chase in a way that looks like play, unless your child is in danger and you must reach them.
• Punishing a late response. If your child comes after a delay, still praise them for coming. You want them to always come back to you.
• Stopping practice once it works. Keep practicing a few times a week so the skill stays strong.
• Relying on the words alone. Keep doors locked and alarmed and pools fenced.

What if my child does not speak or understand the words yet?

Safety cues do not need to be spoken words. You can use a hand sign, a picture card (a red stop sign), a whistle, or a specific sound. Some families use a picture on the inside of the front door as a reminder to wait. If your child uses an AAC device, include safety words on it so your child can also tell you "stop" or "help." Teaching your child to share their name and phone number is another safety skill; see teaching name, address and phone number.

What should I do if my child goes missing?

Call 911 right away. There is no waiting period to report a missing child in Florida; s. 937.021 requires law enforcement to take a missing child report without requiring a custody order and enter it into state and national crime databases within two hours. While you wait, check water first: pools, ponds, canals and lakes nearby. See the guide on what to do if your autistic child goes missing.

How Hope Center can help

Safety skills are a common part of ABA plans for children who wander or bolt. At Hope Center for Behavior Change, our BCBAs build safety goals into the plan, our Registered Behavior Technicians practice them at home and in the community, and our weekly parent training helps every caregiver use the same words the same way. Book a free consultation or call 561-337-8865.