Many parents walk into a well-child visit worried about autism and walk out with "let's wait and see." Sometimes waiting is reasonable. Often, though, the concern never got fully explained in a 15-minute visit with a toddler climbing the exam table. This guide gives you a script, a one-page log to bring, and a plan to leave the visit with clear next steps. It is a tool for a conversation, not a way to push for a particular answer: your pediatrician still makes the clinical call, and you can ask for a second opinion if you disagree.
Before the visit: what should I prepare?
Book the right kind of appointment
When you call, say: "I would like an appointment to talk about concerns with my child's development, including autism. Can you give us a longer slot?" Telling the office the reason ahead of time helps them plan the visit. If the next well-child visit is months away, do not wait for it.
Fill out a milestone checklist
The CDC's Milestone Tracker app and printable checklists cover ages 2 months to 5 years. The CDC notes these checklists are not a substitute for a standardized screening tool, but they help you put concerns into words. Our early signs of autism by age guide explains what to look for.
Keep a one-page concern log for a week or two
Write short, specific examples with dates. Specific beats general: "does not respond to his name when called from three feet away, about 8 of 10 times" tells the doctor more than "he ignores us." Copy this outline onto one sheet:
| Area | What I see (with an example and date) | How often |
|---|---|---|
| Responding to name | ||
| Pointing, showing, waving | ||
| Words and sentences (including words that were lost) | ||
| Eye contact and shared attention | ||
| Play (lining up, spinning objects, pretend play) | ||
| Repeated movements (flapping, rocking, spinning) | ||
| Reactions to sound, touch, food, light | ||
| Upset with changes in routine | ||
| Sleep, eating, toileting | ||
| What daycare, school or relatives have said |
Bring short phone videos too. A 30-second clip of a typical moment at home can show the doctor what a busy exam room hides.
Write your three questions
Put them at the top of the log so they do not get lost: Can my child be screened today? Can you refer us for a full diagnostic evaluation, and to whom? What else should we do while we wait?
At the visit: what exactly should I say?
Here is a script you can read word for word. Adjust it to your child.
"Thank you for seeing us. I am worried that my child may be autistic, and I would like to talk about it today. I have written down what I am seeing, with examples and dates, and I have a short video. [Hand over the log.] The things that worry me most are [two or three examples]. I would like three things: an autism screening today if possible, a referral for a full diagnostic evaluation, and your help with anything we can start while we wait."
Then stop and let the doctor respond. If the doctor agrees, ask the follow-up questions below. If the doctor suggests waiting, see the next section.
Follow-up questions to ask
- "Which screening tool are you using, and what was the result?" For toddlers this is often the M-CHAT-R/F. See the M-CHAT-R/F guide.
- "Who do you refer to for autism evaluations, and do you know which of them are in network for our plan?"
- "Does our plan need a referral or prior authorization from you for the evaluation?"
- "Can you put the referral in today, and can I have a copy?"
- "Should we also check hearing, or anything medical, while we wait?"
- "If my child is diagnosed and needs ABA, would you write the prescription or order our plan may require?"
The last question matters later. Florida's autism insurance law limits required coverage to treatment "prescribed by the insured's treating physician in accordance with a treatment plan," and the plan must carry the treating physician's signature. Asking now means your pediatrician will not be surprised by the form later. See does ABA need a doctor's prescription.
What if the doctor says to wait and see?
Stay calm and specific. Try:
"I understand. Can you help me understand what you would want to see before referring us? I would feel better having a full evaluation now, because wait times for evaluations can be long. Would you be willing to refer us today, and we can cancel if things change?"
If the answer is still no, you have options:
- Ask the doctor to note your concern and their recommendation in the chart, and ask when they want to see your child again.
- Ask for a second opinion from another pediatrician.
- Check whether your plan lets you book an evaluation without a referral. Call member services and ask.
- Use the free Florida routes below, which do not need the doctor at all.
Can I get help the same day without a doctor's referral?
Yes. The CDC says you do not need to wait for a doctor's referral or a medical diagnosis to ask your state's early childhood system for a free evaluation.
- Under 3 years old: Early Steps. Florida's early intervention program accepts referrals from anyone, including parents. You can refer online through the Early Steps website or call the statewide line, 1-800-218-0001. The local program must complete the evaluation and the first family service plan within 45 calendar days of referral. See how to refer to Early Steps.
- Age 3 to kindergarten: your school district. Under Rule 6A-6.0331, a parent can ask the district for an initial evaluation. The district must ask for your consent, or tell you in writing why it refuses, within 30 days. See the preschool evaluation request letter.
A practical approach many families use: leave the pediatrician's office, sit in the car, and submit the Early Steps referral on your phone. The medical evaluation and the free state services then move on parallel tracks. Early Steps and the school evaluate for services; they do not replace the medical diagnosis that a health plan usually needs for ABA.
After the visit: what should I do this week?
- Ask the office for a copy of the referral and the screening result.
- Call the evaluators on the referral list and get on their schedules. Ask whether they keep a cancellation list.
- Call member services and confirm the evaluation is covered and in network. The guide on how to get an autism diagnosis in Florida lists the questions.
- Keep the concern log going. It will help the evaluator too.
- Start a folder for every paper: screening, referral, Early Steps letters, insurance notes.
How Hope Center can help
Hope Center for Behavior Change offers autism diagnostic evaluations through our clinical director with a supervising licensed psychologist, and we have no waitlist for ABA. If your child is diagnosed, we can check your benefits for free and explain each intake step. Our staff can also join doctor visits where allowed. Call 561-337-8865 or request a free consultation. New to all this? Start with our new families page.